essays

Menopauseland? Give Me A Break

menopause drinkI can’t speak for baby boomer women -- hell, I can barely speak to baby boomer women -- but I am betting that they are not going to embrace the new ad campaign for Estroven.

Never mind the insipid music that plays in a mind-numbing loop that could make anyone cranky, the web experience seems to think that menopause is a theme park. I can just see Martina Navratilova coming off a seniors tennis tournament win and when they ask her what she is going to do now, she says, “I’m going to Menopauseland!”

Menopause is described as a “bumpy road” with “good days and bad days” but it’s a time to celebrate life. Really? I hope the folks at KSL Media actually talked to some baby boomer women before menopausal screamthey came up with Menopauseland, but one has to wonder.

I suppose the one thing about the campaign that rings true is that like everything else in our baby boomer lifetime, there’s a pill to fix it. Hot flashes and night sweats got you down? Just pop an Estroven and all is well. Oh, and did we mention it’s natural? If it’s so natural, how come the pills don’t grow on trees? Natural to me means that I can grow it myself.

Not only is it natural, but Estroven also comes in Regular Strength, Energy, Extra Strength and Estroven PM. Four different boxes with four unique colors -- which one best fits your life?

menopause chocolateBut that’s not all, as they say in the infomercials, Amerifit Brands, the warm and fuzzy makers of Estroven want to give you some tips on dealing with menopause. So if you can get your sweaty fingers around the mouse and click on Tips for Your Journey (seriously, that’s what they call it), you will find out that a “balanced diet at this time of your life is more important than ever.” Or, “next time why take the stairs instead of the elevator.” Is this helping you on your journey?

In the TV commercials, a boomer woman emerges from a pool to be met by hunky cabana boy who massages her shoulders. The message I’m getting is you don’t need a pill, you need a pool -- plus a hunky massage guy.

If this is indicative of how the ad world is going to pitch products to baby boomers, than we are all in for a bumpy ride and everyone is going to be cranky.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.

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