essays

Smells Fishy to Me

Sometimes it feels like we have targets painted on our backs. The price we pay for being 800 lb gorillas, I guess, but irritating anyway.

This time, it’s how baby boomers are turning hobbies into careers. What could be wrong with that, you ask? Well, it seems that since mature women make successful entrepreneurs (I knew that!) and they are interested in essential oils and natural scents (okay, now we’re making a leap), it should come as no surprise that baby boomers are jumping on the aromatherapy bandwagon.

Huh? Baby boomer women enjoy smells (the good kind), ergo they should become aromatherapy hucksters. Did I say hucksters? I meant entrepreneurs. More to the point, aromapreneurs.

It’s almost like the media wants to find something for us to do. Come on! You like Madagascar vanilla and lemongrass raspberry, so don’t fight it. Create your own scents (collect them or trade them with your friends --- wait, that was baseball cards – it’s so easy to get those two mixed up).

You can start your own online aromatherapy store, like Mermaids Naturals and pretty soon you’ll be blending your own of jojoba oil for massage therapy. Grounding blends for those who are stressed, mints for sinus trouble, and orange-lavender for jet lag. There’s a scent for every mood so you have no excuse for letting your Chakras get out of balance. They’re even throwing scent parties to sell their custom blends. Gone are the days when you gather to make your Rubbermaid burp.

Just when you think this whole aroma thing may not be such a bad idea for an encore career, they mention that you can also specialize in aromatherapy for pets. I just want the dog to smell better but maybe our pets want less stress in their lives just like humans.

As for me, you can hold the patchoulis, sandalwood, citrus, and lavender. I’m not ready for them yet. Maybe when we’re all in the nursing home I’ll want aromatherapy to block out the icky smells, but for now, the whole thing sounds fishy to me.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.