essays

So Long Twinkie Defense

By now, it’s clear to everyone that Twinkies are not coming back. Not unless some Chinese entrepreneur takes up the cause, and that may not be as ridiculous as it sounds. You read that here first.

You can blame baby boomers for the popularity of Twinkies, Hostess Cupcakes, Snoballs, Devil Dogs, telephone with large numbersand Ring Dings, but remember that it was another generation baking up all these goodies and our parents who obliged us by buying them. They let us gorge ourselves on sweet treats that had absolutely no nutritional value and helped us on our way to becoming sugar junkies.

To be fair, they had about as much information about the dangers of so much sugar as they did about the danger of cigarette smoking. But let’s be reasonable – how could inhaling tar and nicotine be any good for you? Or consuming tons of sugar without a protein in sight?

We got smarter, and by we, I mean baby boomers. We demanded better foods and helped to advance the natural/organic food movement. Baby boomers helped to grow the exercise industry along with health clubs, work-outs, and the yoga and pilates movements. In short, we got off our asses (most of us anyway) and demanded a healthier diet that eliminated most of the sugar content that made up the diet of our early childhood.

Boomers started raising their own children and teaching them that “you are what you eat.” It was like Mother Earth redux. Much of the back to the farm movement is populated farmerby boomer offspring who were educated early in life about the value of knowing where your food comes from and who is growing it. The Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) is clearly a movement that can be traced back to baby boomer interest in eating healthier and smarter.

As a result, the children of Millennials are most likely going to be denied the chance to eat a Twinkie or some other sugar-loaded snack treat. These kids are going to grow up eating healthy food and maybe reversing the upward spiral of obesity that this nation has fostered.

So if you want to blame boomers for denying the next generations the guilty pleasures that we had, go ahead. We can accept the blame for that as long as you give us the credit for getting everyone to eat healthier.

And now some crazy person won’t murder someone and try to get off using the Twinkie defense, so there’s that!

 

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.

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