BoomSpeak! Your Whole Life's In Front of You

fiction

Can You Hear Me Now?

I don’t know where I left my hearing aid or glasses.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHERE YOU LAST HAD THEM.

What?

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU LAST HAD YOUR GLASSES?

Maybe when I was at the hairdressers. Yeah, that’s it. I take out my hearing aid and put down my glasses when the girl gives me a shampoo.

THAT MUST BE IT. WHY DON’T YOU CALL THE SALON AND ASK THEM TO LOOK.

I have looked all over the house. I’m not stupid.

I SAID CALL THE SALON AND ASK THEM TO LOOK.

Oh. I could do that. But I’m not sure I can see the number in the phone book.

WHAT’S THE NAME OF THE SALON. I’LL LOOK UP THE NUMBER.

I don’t know the number.

I SAID I WILL LOOK UP THE NUMBER.

Anne’s Beauty Salon. It’s on Hurley Avenue. They have the cheapest perms around. I have been going there for ten years now. They do a nice job for the price.

OKAY, HERE’S THE NUMBER. CAN YOU WRITE THIS DOWN?

I’m not going back down there.

[Ay, yi, yi.] WRITE THIS NUMBER DOWN.

Okay, I need a pencil. Wait. Okay.

671-8891. CALL THEM AND GIVE THEM YOUR NAME. ASK THEM IF THEY FOUND THE GLASSES AND HEARING AID.

ladyunderdryer What if no one is there?

LEAVE A MESSAGE. CAN YOU DO THAT?

I don’t like those answering machines.

JUST LEAVE A MESSAGE AND GIVE THEM YOUR NAME AND PHONE NUMBER.

Why do they need my number?

[Get me a rope.] BECAUSE THAT WAY THEY CAN CALL YOU BACK IF THEY HAVE YOUR GLASSES AND HEARING AID.

They did get paid.

[sigh.] MOM, JUST LEAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER SO THEY CAN CALL YOU BACK.

I’ll get Mary Lou to dial the phone for me. I can’t see the numbers.

GOOD IDEA. HAVE MARY LOU DIAL THE PHONE.

No, she doesn’t drive.

[What the?] RIGHT. HAVE HER DIAL FOR YOU. HOW DID YOU SEE ANYTHING WHEN YOU LEFT THE SALON THIS MORNING.

I did have breakfast.

OKAY. MAYBE MARY LOU CAN DRIVE OVER AND PICK UP THE GLASSES FOR YOU.

I left my hearing aid there.

RIGHT. MAYBE MARY LOU CAN PICK UP THE GLASSES AND THE HEARING AID.

I hate to bother her, but I need my glasses. cowsinstreet I don’t think I’ve ever done this before. I don’t know how I didn’t notice on the way home that I didn’t have my glasses.

RIGHT.

Well, let me call over there and see if anyone is there.

RIGHT, LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU FIND OUT.

I didn’t notice until I got home.

RIGHT. LOVE YOU MOM. TALK TO YOU LATER.

[Must find aspirin.]

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.

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