fiction

Out of Body Experienced

starbucksAm I the only person who has ever sat in a Starbucks sipping my Café Americano, wondering what it would be like to be in someone else’s body? I doubt it, but it still feels strange.

What about that attractive woman in the overstuffed chair by the fireplace? Middle-aged, nice features, athletic, reading classic literature. Maybe, but could I be a woman? I wouldn’t know where to start. The clothes, the mannerisms, the hormones! If I could get the hang of it, she seems like a good candidate. I’ll bet she has a great husband and a nice family. Wait. What if her husband is abusive and doesn’t listen to her. I need to communicate. I want a soul mate. What if she doesn’t have a soul mate. I couldn’t stand that.

How about the outdoorsy guy on the sofa? A little too L.L. Bean crossed with EMS for me, but I could change the wardrobe. He coffeelooks about my age, intelligent eyes, whatever that means. At least he reads the paper every day, so he cares about his world. I like that.Wish I knew what kind of car he drove – you can tell a lot from someone’s choice of transportation. Is he foreign or domestic? SUV or hybrid? New or used? Hard top or convertible?

Wait a second. New guy just walked in. In his thirties, wearing a suit. Handsome. I say that because at least three women gave him the once over when he entered. I don’t know, there is something a little too perfect about him. He might be overcaffeinated judging by how he is shuffling his feet while waiting to get his coffee. I have enough stress now, so I don’t see any advantage to taking on his baggage.

Hold the phone– new woman at 12 o’clock. Man holds door for her. And why not? This is babe material. Tight top that shows every curve of her breasts and tight pants that leave no doubt about what kind of underwear she is wearing. Reddish brown hair, attractive features, very sexy eyes. Like the smile too. I might want to be next to her body, but I don’t see a trade in our future. Looks like a moth-to-the-flame scenario in the making. Plus, I’m still not sure trading bodies with a woman is workable. Could be interesting for an hour, priusbut then what?

I’m starting to reconsider the whole notion of a body trade anyway. If you just go by appearances, it seems not only risky but shallow as well. That means you really have to research prospective body trade candidates, and I just don’t have that kind of time, nor do I want to make that big an investment. So that leaves just the imagination part. I can live with that. Hope the guy parking the Prius is coming in here.

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.

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