fiction

The Tentative Kidnappers

“We’re not grabbing the Lindberg baby – are we agreed?”

“Agreed. We’re going to go to a wealthy neighborhood and find a rich kid who feels sorry for old people. We grab her and collect a quick ransom.”

“And we’re not going to be greedy. We need enough to cover the health insurance premiums and your prescription medications. How much do you think that is, anyway?”

“Oh, I would say the insurance is about $8,000 and the prescriptions are at least $5,000, maybe $6,000.”

“That’s for one year, for Christ’s sake?”

“Yep, one year.”

“Jesus. Well, there’s not much point in trying to kidnap someone and only getting enough money for one year. Otherwise we’ll be back out there next year trying this same stunt again. I say we ask for $50,000. Any family in a good neighborhood can get that kind of money out of their 401k or already has it in savings.”

“I don’t know about that. A lot of these upper income families are starting to feel the pinch, what with rising college tuitions and oil over $150 a barrel.”

“Wait a second. Let me get this straight. You’re worried about the upper crust running short of money? Give me a break. We don’t have enough money for the drugs you need. You think they have that problem? You think that if their little boy needs some special medicine that costs $500 a month that the money is going to break them?”

“No, I didn’t say that. I’m just saying that in this kind of economy, everyone feels some pain. And speaking of pain, do you think that two sixty somethings can hold down a ten year old without getting kicked in the head. Because if either one of us gets hurt trying to pull off this kidnapping, we’ll be worse off than we are now.”

“That’s a laugh. How could we be worse off?  Huh? We don’t have the money to cover your prescriptions. How sick is that? I tell you what, if we get caught and they throw us in the clink, at least we would get decent healthcare.”

“What are you saying? You want to get caught?”

“No, I’m just saying that we wouldn’t be any worse off than we are now.”

“So are we going to grab a kid to get a ransom or are we trying to get caught in the act?”

“I told you from the start. This is no Lindberg baby screw-up. We grab the kid, give her something to keep her drowsy, put a blindfold on her and hit the parents up for 50k.”

“You sound like some hardened criminal, not a retired biology teacher.”

“Yeah, well times change.”

“And so do people.”

“Desperate times call for desperate measures.”

“Shit.”

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.

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