She would be much a woman, quite able to express her thoughts and feelings. (“Tall is good. I like tall.”) She’d be able to talk about herself in favorable terms (“I’m not the kind that sleeps around.”) Most of all, she would ask the right questions.

“How about a drink? On the house.”

“That would be lovely. I was hoping for a chance to talk.”

“What’ll it be? Gin and tonic maybe?”

“Perfect. Beefeater’s, if you have it”

“You looked like you were enjoying yourself up there. Is it really that much fun to play guitar?”

“Most of the time. This is pretty much an ideal gig for me. All three of us are songwriters, so there’s never a shortage of new material. And we keep getting better, knock on wood.”

“There you go. Did you grow up here in Colorado?”

“Houston, actually. My parents both worked for NASA. They wanted me to be a rocket scientist, or a doctor at least, but once I heard Chuck Berry I never looked back.”

“Is music any way to make a living?”

“Not unless you get lucky and write some decent songs. I count on those royalty checks.”

“Tell me about your guitar. What’s that shiny thing?”

“Oh boy. You ask a lot of questions.”

“Can’t help it. It’s what bartenders do, and I write for the Denver Post as a day job. So, tell me about the guitar.”

“Cheers, and thanks. As a reporter, you’ll want the facts: I’ve owned and played a lot of guitars, but this one is special. She’s known as the Boxcar Model, made by Gretsch. That’s the company that built instruments for Chet Atkins, among others.

“The ‘shiny thing’ you asked about is a decorative cover plate protecting the circular resonator cone located inside the body of the guitar. That’s where things get interesting. If you peek in there you’ll see a spun aluminum device that reflects the sound made when you strike the strings and sends it back toward the audience, only louder.”

“Hmmm. Sort of a mechanical amplification system instead of electronic?”

“Exactly. The resonator was invented in the 1920’s by two brothers in California, Ed and Rudy Dopyera. They patented the device with a trademark based on their names, and called it ‘Dobro’, which is a Slavic word that translates as ‘excellent.’

“The company made and sold resonators for mandolins, banjos, even bass fiddles. There were complete orchestras of resonator equipped instruments. Then the electric guitar was invented and everything changed. Any more questions?”

Harpeth Rivers is a writer, musician and happy homeowner still living and working in New Mexico. Check out his latest book, Proof, an illustrated fable, on Amazon.

 

I vividly remember seeing Oscar Levant on Jack Parr and thinking that he was the wittiest and most clever person I ever had the privilege of hearing. Then I read his book, Memoirs of an Amnesiac, and I was sold. Concert pianist and composer were his main callings, but for me his brilliant and spontaneous wit was the main attraction.

So it came as a real shock to bump into Levant as I was entering the dentist’s office and he was leaving.

Oscar Levant! Am I glad to see you!

“Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.”

Okay, but I’m not the only one to believe that you are/were a genius.

 “There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”  

You object to being called a genius?

“What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.” 

But you’re joking about the insanity thing.

 “I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.”  

That can’t be true.

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.”

You look good though.

“Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.”

Millions of people still adore your wit and talent.

“It’s not what you are, it’s what you don’t become that hurts.”

That’s harsh.

“I’m controversial. My friends either dislike me or hate me” 

You made a lot of people happy.

“Happiness isn’t something you experience, it’s something you remember.”

Are you working on anything new? 

“So little time and so little to do.” 

But you must be in demand for talk shows.

“I’ve stepped on too many toes on the way down.”

But you would have a lot to say about what’s going on now in our world.

“It’d be nice to please everyone but I thought it would be more interesting to have a point of view.”

Maybe you just need to get more rest.

“I had always resented sleep as an intrusion on my nocturnal self-pity”

Ah, the amnesia thing still has a grip on you. Well, I’ll let you go but I just had to tell you how much I, we, have missed you.

“In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.”

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. His mystery novel, Head Above Water, is available on Amazon and Kindle. You can also visit his author page here.

 

 

During the workshop Natalie had also suggested that writing with other people is a way of staying accountable when you just don’t feel like doing the work. Karli greeted me at the lunch break and stated without a preface, “We should start a Writers Group.” I thought, “Well, sure,” even though I had no idea where such a suggestion would lead. It was her blue eyes and the self-confidence in her proposal that convinced me to show up on Wednesday mornings at El Café on Cerrillos. The place is nothing fancy, rarely crowded, just right for what we do.

Natalie’s instruction to “continue under all circumstances” keeps us on task at our meetings, and during that first year I managed to develop a consistent practice by filling the pages of a spiral notebook every month. I always believed in learning by doing. Things got a little more complicated after a particular writing session on Valentine’s Day when I stayed behind to work on a challenging paragraph. With my head down and doing my best to keep the hand moving across the page, I came to a realization that I was no longer alone at the table. Karli was standing across from me holding her laptop.

“Oh, hi. I’m just finishing a thought. What’s up?” I asked, as if I didn’t suspect a thing.

She leaned toward me and whispered, “Can we talk? Maybe not here. I could meet you later if you want to keep writing.”

“No, no, I’m about done. Tell you what- let me pay for the coffee and we could take a drive up to the ski basin. Is that okay with you?”

Her smile said yes, and she added, “Let me drop off my car at the house if you don’t mind. Meet me there in twenty minutes?”

My heart was racing when I pulled into the driveway. Karli wasn’t outside, but the front door opened, she waved to me, and I could see through the screen that she was wearing some kind of an above-the-knee pink robe thing, and that smile. I suspected that there might have been a change of plans. Without needing an explanation, I locked the car and headed for the porch wishing that I had brought a dozen roses.

Harpeth Rivers is a writer, musician and happy homeowner still living and working in New Mexico. Check out his latest book, Proof, an illustrated fable, on Amazon.

I know it seems improbable, but I keep running into famous people who purportedly died. What can I say? It’s a gift.

My latest encounter was with Mae West. She was coming out of Nordstrom Rack with an armful of shopping bags.

Wow, Mae, you bought out the place!

“I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.”

Shopping can be addictive from what I understand.

“Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.”

Good advice. But maybe a bad habit?

“I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.”

And that was also your approach to men?

“Too much of a good thing can be wonderful!”

You do have a reputation for being shall we say risqué?

“Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.”

You certainly shocked some people in your day.

“Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.”

Well you lived your life the way you wanted. No regrets?

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

You married twice but neither lasted. What’s up with that?

“Marriage is a fine institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.”

Did you worry about your reputation at all?

“I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.”

Happens to everyone. Do you care what people think now?

“I wrote the story myself. It’s about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.”

Speaking of reputation, does it bother you to know what some people thought about you?

“When I’m good, I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.”

Would you consider getting married again?

“Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can’t figure out what from.”

Well, maybe they just want to get to know you better.

“A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.”

Mae, I think you lived a fabulous life that people still admire today.

“I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.”

And it most certainly is or was. You are an impressive lady.

“I’m no model lady. A model’s just an imitation of the real thing.”

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. His mystery novel, Head Above Water, is available on Amazon and Kindle. You can also visit his author page here.

 

 

 

 

 

Another adventure unfolded on our recent hike into the nooks and crannies (i.e. canyons and ravines) of New Mexico. After a 4.5 hour drive down to the Gila National Forest, we made our way to the Doggone trailhead. That’s right Doggone. So named when an early explorer to the area…you guessed it…lost his dog. If you are consulting the map, this would be just outside the town of Mud Stain.

We had hoped to enjoy cooler temperatures at the 8,800-foot elevation with some tree cover shade, but no. It was hot as hell with no relief and not as much shade as we hoped. The first 2.5 miles up Dead Horse (don’t ask) mountain were sheer torture as it involved about 1500 feet of elevation gain. The payoff was at the summit where we enjoyed a fine view looking across Dirty Bastard Valley.

Our exhilaration was short-lived as the Doggone trail went from a wide path to a narrow shoulder along a sheer 400-foot drop. This part of the trail is known as Foolish, Foolish Choice for obvious reasons. Incidentally, we have numerous classifications for hiking trails such as this. There’s FOAGBU (fall off and get back up), FOARD (fall off and roll down), and of course, FOAD (fall off and die). Foolish, Foolish Choice did not disappoint as it was clearly a FOAD kind of trail.

Thankfully we made it across the blade edge and dropped down (not literally) into Chipped Tooth Gulch. Local legend is that a cowboy named Larryme fell off his horse and chipped his tooth on some wicked granite that lines the gulch.­ We did not suffer the same fate although we did take the opportunity to floss.

The trail turned steep as we made our way out of the gulch into a glen known as Furry Maiden. Not much is known about the origin of this name but the dense shade and thick forest canopy above was most welcome. A small stream ran through the glen and our topo map indicated this was a small branch of the larger Knuckle Dragger River. It was the perfect place to stop for coffee and snacks and give the biting insects a decent shot at making us completely miserable.

Nourished and rested (along with bitten up real good), we got back on the trail to complete the long loop back to our starting point. This involved a hairy scary steep downward set of switchbacks on loose scree, where one false step could have you going ass over teakettle, which perversely was the name of this part of the trail. Only the topo spelled it Ass O’er Teakettle. Same difference.

Although it was level, the path back to the trailhead had a death march quality, as our legs were weakened by the strain of constant braking to make our way down Ass O’er Teakettle. We continued on this course which the topo labeled Mad Cow for another two miles. With the truck in sight and darkness about to come crashing down, we congratulated ourselves for having had another rewarding hike in the beautiful landscape that is New Mexico at its finest.

Note: Everything about this description is true except for the facts. And a shout-out to Geo’s Hiking blog for inspiration.

Total Distance:  8.30 miles
Elevation: start  8,878 ft, maximum  10,667 ft,  minimum  8,207 ft
Gross gain:  1,789 ft.  Aggregate ups & downs:  ascending  2,256 ft, descending  2,359 ft
Maximum slope: 47% ascending, 39% descending, 15% average
Duration: 7:20

Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. His mystery novel, Head Above Water, is available on Amazon and Kindle. You can also visit his author page here.

 

 

 

Are you okay, Sara? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.

Oh, I’m fine, but could you bring me a glass of water, please? Sometimes the ‘glamourous and high-paying world of New Mexico real estate’ can be overwhelming.

Who was that on the phone? Was it the Placitas house again? It seems to me that couple is out of control. Here’s your water.

Thanks, Emma. You know, they really are nice people, but after forty showings they still haven’t had any offers, and the husband has his own ideas of how to do business. I told him I thought it was time to consider lowering the price, but he . . . are you ready for this? He said on the phone he wants to raise the asking price by ten thousand.

What? Raise the asking price? You’re kidding.

I wish. Actually, he first suggested we change the listing to show an increase of twenty-five thousand. I thought he might be joking with me, but then he laid down a whole song and dance about how he wants to be appealing to a different demographic.

How is raising the price supposed to help anything?

He said he wants to deal with the big spenders. He thinks that if they ask for more money, they won’t have to do as many showings. I tried to tell him that it doesn’t work that way, but I might as well have been talking to a tree. My guess is that they are tired of showing altogether. He said, “Think about it, Sara. We’ve had nothing but positive feedback from the agents. They mostly comment that the property shows really well, and after all the work we put into getting ready to list, I agree completely. It’s a hell of a nice house. I suspect that we’ve been dealing with shoppers interested in a lower price point, trying to get a deal. Let’s try marketing to the group that is able to spend whatever it takes to get what they want. It’s a little like playing hard to get. All of a sudden, raise the price and you’re irresistible. Besides, there’s a word for people who keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.”

Is this man out of his mind?

He just wants to sell the house, that’s all, and trust me, there’s nothing I’d enjoy more.

Harpeth Rivers is a writer, musician and happy homeowner still living and working in New Mexico. Check out his latest book, Proof, an illustrated fable, on Amazon.