fiction
Can You Hear Me Now?
I don’t know where I left my hearing aid or glasses.
DO YOU REMEMBER WHERE YOU LAST HAD THEM.
What?
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU LAST HAD YOUR GLASSES?
Maybe when I was at the hairdressers. Yeah, that’s it. I take out my hearing aid and put down my glasses when the girl gives me a shampoo.
THAT MUST BE IT. WHY DON’T YOU CALL THE SALON AND ASK THEM TO LOOK.
I have looked all over the house. I’m not stupid.
I SAID CALL THE SALON AND ASK THEM TO LOOK.
Oh. I could do that. But I’m not sure I can see the number in the phone book.
WHAT’S THE NAME OF THE SALON. I’LL LOOK UP THE NUMBER.
I don’t know the number.
I SAID I WILL LOOK UP THE NUMBER.
Anne’s Beauty Salon. It’s on Hurley Avenue. They have the cheapest perms around. I have been going there for ten years now. They do a nice job for the price.
OKAY, HERE’S THE NUMBER. CAN YOU WRITE THIS DOWN?
I’m not going back down there.
[Ay, yi, yi.] WRITE THIS NUMBER DOWN.
Okay, I need a pencil. Wait. Okay.
671-8891. CALL THEM AND GIVE THEM YOUR NAME. ASK THEM IF THEY FOUND THE GLASSES AND HEARING AID.
What if no one is there?
LEAVE A MESSAGE. CAN YOU DO THAT?
I don’t like those answering machines.
JUST LEAVE A MESSAGE AND GIVE THEM YOUR NAME AND PHONE NUMBER.
Why do they need my number?
[Get me a rope.] BECAUSE THAT WAY THEY CAN CALL YOU BACK IF THEY HAVE YOUR GLASSES AND HEARING AID.
They did get paid.
[sigh.] MOM, JUST LEAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER SO THEY CAN CALL YOU BACK.
I’ll get Mary Lou to dial the phone for me. I can’t see the numbers.
GOOD IDEA. HAVE MARY LOU DIAL THE PHONE.
No, she doesn’t drive.
[What the?] RIGHT. HAVE HER DIAL FOR YOU. HOW DID YOU SEE ANYTHING WHEN YOU LEFT THE SALON THIS MORNING.
I did have breakfast.
OKAY. MAYBE MARY LOU CAN DRIVE OVER AND PICK UP THE GLASSES FOR YOU.
I left my hearing aid there.
RIGHT. MAYBE MARY LOU CAN PICK UP THE GLASSES AND THE HEARING AID.
I hate to bother her, but I need my glasses. I don’t think I’ve ever done this before. I don’t know how I didn’t notice on the way home that I didn’t have my glasses.
RIGHT.
Well, let me call over there and see if anyone is there.
RIGHT, LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU FIND OUT.
I didn’t notice until I got home.
RIGHT. LOVE YOU MOM. TALK TO YOU LATER.
[Must find aspirin.]
Jay Harrison is a graphic designer and writer whose work can be seen at DesignConcept. He's written a mystery novel, which therefore makes him a pre-published author.
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