BoomSpeak! Your Whole Life's In Front of You

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S.E.X. Trip Keeps Us All in Stitches

yarn for sale Once upon a time, eight ladies (I use the term loosely) decided to take a S.E.X. trip. For those of you getting all hot and bothered, it's an S (stash) E (enhancement) X (xcursion). Do not tell me I have excursion spelled wrong….this is my story and I can tell it and spell it anyway I want!

We left Bowling Green, Kentucky bound for Chicago on the City of New Orleans train. We were headed to Stitches Midwest, which is a yarn market, convention, and classes.

It was so much fun riding the train, although I’m not sure the other people in the car with us felt the same. The conductor must have enjoyed the change of pace, because he brought us all conductor hats to wear (just like the ones they give to kids). Of course, we put them on and immediately yarn balls the cameras came out.

We laughed, knitted, ate, drank our way to Union Station where we were met by a black stretch limo and a driver who looked like Michael Jordan! We had him laughing so much and so hard, I thought we would have to pull over and stop! You get eight menopausal women together and you have lots of hot air, laughing, and a little dribbling in the panties! We got to the hotel which resulted in lots of heads of turning when the limo pulled in and all these "middle-aged", "stocky,” loud, laughing women rolled out.

After much discussion we decided to have Italian for dinner and I'm sure the place was happy when we left. You have to understand that when I say we laugh, it's loud!!! We don't talk loud (we're not like men that need hearing aids); we just laugh loud – really loud.

After a short night of sleep, we headed to the yarn market to shop. To a non-knitter this is probably like watching paint dry, but to us, well, we were like you say "in hog heaven." Puyong Oohing and aahing, touching and petting the most luscious yarn, many of any of us had to head back to the hotel to dump purchases and catch our second wind. We opened the place and closed it on Friday. Ditto on Saturday until mid-afternoon.

Then it was into a white stretch limo to head back to Union Station for our much quieter train ride home. Too tired to talk, some of us looked through the literature we picked up at the yarn market, and others sat and fondled their purchases all the way home. Arriving back in Bowling Green, we were eight exhausted women but already planning our next S.E.X. trip.

Nancy Van Patten writes about her knitting and her knitting group – a wild bunch of boomer women who have way too much fun – at keeping you in stitches.

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